Sunday, January 17, 2010

Away we go

     I know its been a while, trying to get ajusted to taking college classes after what 20 some years. Its been an adventure so far, from WOW I really, really like this, to oh man what have I got myself into, a range of emotions, but in the end, I am so excited, I think I have found something that I not only will love doing, but I really believe I will be one of the best at Web Design, I get into this kinda stuff, I love when I know that I can do something thats complicated, and if someone has a problem, that I can go in myself and look around and figure it out, and were talking these are problems that may take hours and days to figure out, but oh the sense of accomplishment when your done!! Its just thrilling to me, some people would hate doing this, the thoughts of writing code, paragraphs of it, just to get a  couple of sentences on a page, would bore them to death, but for me it keeps me totally imersed in something, I shouldn't have down time with it, there will probably always be code that needs to  be written in this field, no getting off into my own mind to think to long and hard about anything!!! Just the way I like it baby!
     The demands of working or college classes and raising children all in the same room? It has the same drawbacks as all work at home moms have, you never have alone time, if you get to go off to an office, you are at least escaping for a while. Where you can concentrate on your work, have peace and quiet to do the best possible work you can, I am a firm believer in work like you don't need the money, and dance like no one's watching!
Its just as hard going to school at home-online, but when circumstances call for it, they just do. I am glad we at least have that option now. I try to study and sometimes I have to jump up every few minutes, I get aggravated, then sometimes Tom takes Jada to the store while Raina spends the night at nanny's and I get hours of quiet study. I think in the end the good out weighs the bad, I don't have to pay for daycare, transportation, lunch etc.
I might as well get use to juggling the kids and some type of work, I will be working from home after I graduate anyway.That was the whole point when I started this, to be able to stay at home with my husband because his hearts so very bad, hes not suppose to ever be alone, the doctors don't say if his heart stops they say when his heart stops, you will have a hour to get him to the ER.
      Things are very tight, tighter than I have ever had to deal with, Tom's mom helps him, my mom helps me, if it were not for that I don't know what would have become of us up to this point. I know that the weight of this families future is on my shoulders, its very heavy, it does depress me at times. I have two beautiful girls that make it worth getting up and fighting another day, you think if you work all of your life like my husband Tom did, that you get to rest and have a little,NOT!! For those of you that's having to live on Social Security Disablity then you know totally what I mean, I am currently raising a family of four on less than what a single household's guidelines are. That's why I can't allow myself to drown in this, my girls are depending on me, they hate our house, its so little, not near the room that we need. The day I enrolled for classes, I explained to them that mommy may not be able to play with them as often, but I would surely miss it, I was going to try to go to school at home so I could provide us with a house that actually fits us,lol.
My oldest daughter who is 7 went and got a home decorating book and circled all the things she thought would look nice in our new house someday, oh I pray the Lord blesses this venture I have decided to take, I don't want to ever,ever,disappoint them.
     I will keep everyone posted on this awesome new road Im taking, wow, back to school at 41, pray people pray.
and please comment, tell me what you think??

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