Sunday, March 21, 2010



Your new national health care begins on the 5th of July.
What is it and how can you get it?
We will provide you with all medical, dental, and nursing care.
Everyone rich, poor, man, woman, or child can use it or any part of it.
There are NO CHARGES except for a few special items.
But this is not a charity, you are paying for it mainly as a tax payer.
It will relieve your many worries in times of illness.

That was a statement that was not issued in the United States, it was issued in England in 1948, and is still in effect today.
Canada, England, France, and Cuba all have free health care for their people. We are a people that are suppose to be living in a progressive, rich, plentiful country, but we go without insurance, and for those of you that are blessed enough to have insurance. Well lets just say you have a whole team of people working on any insurance claim you put in, to get you turned down, their main job is to find one flaw in your application, or in your past history, and they are very good at this, seeing as its the way they earn their paycheck. The more people they get knocked out of benefits the more money they make, and the higher up in the company they will climb.
Micheal Moore interviewed a lady in France, she said the reason we have free medical because here the government is afraid of the people, the people here tell the government what to do, when it comes to our way of life and what we believe in, we are not afraid to protest, march in the street, she went on to say, but in America the people are afraid of the government, they are afraid to make waves, to step out for fear of what the government will do to them in response to their actions, like if we speak up over health care and demand the government provide us with free medical, and dental, we don't know what they will do to us, we have that fear that if we make waves on these multi-trillion dollar company's, like insurance co's, or take on hospital's.
Lets be totally honest, this is America, if you make big enough waves about something that threatens someone's millions from coming in, we can be killed, a strange little accident, or this is a good one they use, they committed suicide!!! Hum, even though they had never expressed anything of the like to their family or close friends???

You say that's going to far! You think if someone will kill you on the street for a twenty dollar bill for drugs, that a multi billionaire wouldn't kill you over messing with his billions?
Maybe I have just grown hard, after seeing nurses and doctors lie about your infants condition, just to put her in the NICU and charge your medical card thousands, then claim they don't get paid after two weeks and you find out they most certainly got ever dime. I always thought I could trust doctor's and nurses, now I am most certainly not saying that all nurse's and doctor's lie to do procedures that can be charged to medical cards and insurances. I do fully believe that some doctor's and nurse's are pressured to the point to make the hospital money at all cost, or it will cost their jobs, they are thinking about their children, and how they are going to care for their families that pushes them to do what the big wigs in the higher ups wants them to do.

I'm sick of this treatment, I don't have any medical insurance, my husband had a heart attack, while he was working and I was also, we both had always worked, and of course still struggled pay day to pay day, most of the jobs I had didn't have insurance, or what they offered was so incredibly high, that there was no way I could have gotten it, or I wouldn't have had any money left for my family.
People in Canada walk in any hospital they choose, sees any doctor they want to, they get seen in the busiest of hospitals within an hour, most of them right away or within 20 minutes. They get great treatment, and walk out not owing a dime, and not having to have paid anything down, not one red dime of their money was spent. Plus they even reimburse them the cost of travel to get to the hospital, so not only do they not have to pay a thing the hospital actually gives them money.
Damn, we can't even imagine what that's like. When a woman has a baby in France, the government has provided a person for each family that goes out and gives the mom a break twice a week for four hours each visit, so mom can go and get some things done, or just get a break because like one woman there said, its hard to have a newborn, the mom needs help. This person that the government sends in takes care of the baby, and also washes clothes, does things around the house. I just have to at this point say, UNBELIEVABLE, UNFRIGGING BELIEVABLE!!!!!!
This is the United States of America, where we claim that we don't want anyone doing without health insurance, but yet hundreds of thousands do without insurance, and the rest that have insurance, does the dance with the multi- billion dollar insurance company, getting turned down sometimes for tests that they need, and without them and the treatment that would occur due to that test, may very well result in death, and does many times over, in the movie, SICKO, by Micheal Moore he had more than one case of people that were dying due to getting turned down for medical procedures, he had people he filmed that are now dead due to getting turned down for medical help.

One of the saddest cases he showed, was a 21 year old woman, that her insurance company found a reason to turn her down for medical treatment after she was diagnosed with cancer, now because of lack of treatment, the cancer has spread over her entire body, PEOPLE WE HAVE TO BRING A STOP TO THIS REIGN OF TERROR!!!!!!
I am so upset over this, why when we have the money that we have in this country do we set back and let the government and the big insurance company's determine how we have to live, whether we get treatment or not, its not their decision, its OURS!!!!!!
This is our country, we are the people, the working man is the back bone to all the money in this country. If you have ten percent of millionaires and the rest are working people, then we have the biggest say, we are the majority, but the majority is the one that is getting totally screwed!!!
If we keep setting back, and letting them get by with this, what are we leaving for our kids, what are we teaching them, to sit back and take what ever they want to throw at us, to be total wimps, until we get at the point were at now, to fear the government and never raise our voices, or protest against something wrong?? If this is the situation we are in today, then what situation will our children be in, in twenty years from now. I refuse to believe everything our government tells us, I refuse to sit by and let the big money making company's determine our laws, laws that directly let those company's continue to do wrong and make even more money in return for our life blood.
If you love your children, then start something, do something, say something, if we come together, and raise our voices, we will be heard, we are strong in number, we outnumber the rich, we way outnumber the insurance company's, we need to be deciding what is best for us, then fighting for that right!


      I personally am so tired of it, I don't care anymore, I don't care what threats I may receive, I don't understand why that we can't see the simple point that Micheal Moore puts out there, he is just trying to show what the government has done to us, through us sitting back and not doing a damn thing when they change laws that hurt us, when they partner up with the big company's that pad their pockets to get bills passed that allows those company's to charge us more, and give us less service, I use to fight over our government, defend them, but now, I see how horribly they have treated us, when Cuba gets better medical care than we do, they are a poor country and they can afford to give everyone there free medical treatment. Then you have us, we are a land of plenty, yet there are so many that don't have any coverage, and the ones that do, are just throwing their money out the window, because the insurance company is out there with people doing nothing but finding a reason to turn you down for the coverage you have paid for!!
Do you really want to keep taking this, do you really want to leave this world with our country in this shape, they say the children are the future, but we are not leaving our children any future!!!!!!

              Let me know what you think about this subject, let me know what you think we should do? How do you get started on something this big? One man changed things for England, now they get free medical, dental and nursing needs.
     We have people like Heather Sphor that because she had complications in her 1st pregnancy, and her little angel Maddie was born premature, her and Maddie had to get Cobra insurance, where they charge her outrageous amounts to keep herself covered,  she lost her baby when she was only 17 months old, the most devastating thing a parent can go through, while her husband was on bereavement leave his job was done away with, sweet that was so thoughtful of that company getting rid of his job while he was mourning the loss of his child. I just don't understand how people like that can look at themselves in the mirror, and now his wife and probably their new baby, I'm not for sure about Annie, but I do know that Heather and Maddie had to get insurance from Cobra, I would have to go back and read how much she pays, I can't remember the exact amount, but it was way up there, in the thousand area per month, but I will check it out again for the exact amount.
all the same, she shouldn't have to pay that outrageous amount just to have insurance, and while pregnant with the second child her doctors tried their best to be very cautious and give her ultra sounds, and tests to prevent her from having the second child premature, but of course her doctor had to battle the insurance, they were always wanting to deny coverage for extra ultra sounds that she really needed, she was high risk for a premature baby! She should have never had to worry about a insurance company determining if she needed a ultra sound or not, that should have been completely the doctor's decision. Instead someone in a office that had no degree as doctors, made the decisions of her extra ultra sounds, this is completely unbelievable people. 
     Congratulations on the birth of beautiful Annie, I as a caring American am so sorry for everything you and Mike have suffered through, its not fair Heather, its not fair, we should have totally free health care in a country as rich as this one, we should pay the doctors according to the way the are paid in England, if they get someone to quite smoking, they make more money, if they get someone to have their cholesterol checked, or talk a person that is in need, a physic evaluation they get paid more, now that is preventive medicine, how many doctors would preach preventive medications, if we paid them more for it, instead of pressuring them to run tests that are not needed, so they can bill the insurance company's more, and then the insurance company is going to find a reason in your past to not pay for those tests, so its ultimately you that ends up owing for it.
      We have the highest rate of infant mortality in the world, a baby born in Cuba has a better chance of living than one born in Detroit!!! That's just the most messed up thing I have ever heard of in my life, why we are not pounding down the doors of every government official there is, I just don't understand, we should not stop until this is changed, we are so afraid of being socialized, but its working in other country's , its working, they are not standing in lines, they are not waiting months for surgery's to be preformed, like we have been told, they actually get in and out faster than we can even think about here. We sit for hours in an emergency room waiting to be seen, and they get in and out in under a hour, its not so bad after all, but its what our government would have us believe, its the picture that they have given us that keeps up from setting ourselves free from these burdens that are taking the lives of our loved ones daily!!!!

            Please leave a comment on this subject, let me know how you feel about this, its completely unbelievable to me, I am ready to start the fight, I need help, we have to come together as one nation, together we stand divided we fall!!!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I got my soldier today....

     I have been trying to get to this,  but so much running the past two days, unbelievable.
     I have got to tell you, I got my soldier today, I was so very excited, I adopted a soldier to pen pal with at adopt a platoon, you can pen pal with them sending a care package if you want, or you can  actually opt another option to send care packages once a month, letters,and cards weekly. If you would like to adopt a soldier to pen pal with or send care packages to
 I can not say her name or anything personal like that, its up to you to protect your soldiers personal information.
       She is in Afghanistan, she's 35, and she will probably be there until sometime in Dec. so please pray for my soldier, its a honor to be able to write to her, and I have chosen to send her a care package from time to time, I want to pick out really special things, even those these are just like normal, everyday personal needs, I want to get really good ones that will let her know that we think she deserves it and what she's doing is really brave and awesome, so we are going to have a great time picking her stuff out. Raina is 7 turning 8 the 7th of this month, she will really get into that at this age.
      I order from this awesome company, Melaleuca a wellness company that has been making green,safe,eco-friendly, and really a great price for green, and safe, non toxic products. I want to send some of these to her, to show her I only want what's good and safe for her to use, like you can send them bug killer, bug strips, insect repellent for her, and this kind that I make out of their products that is safe and awesome, but I will send her one with Deet also just in case mine is not strong enough for there, I hear the bugs really aggravate the soldiers, badly!
We also have this killer lotion, my hands would break and bleed, this lotion actually stopped that, they have never broke or bleed again, I love it, that way if she has any extra skin problems, this will really kick in and give her relief, and I would think a little relief over there, really means a lot:)
      I started her letter already, I got her address today, but I have had to stop a couple of times, I have never written to anyone in that situation, my sister is in the army, she's a drill sgt. but she didn't have to go over seas, she trains the troops and prepares them to go oversea's.
      I just want to make sure that I am encouraging, and that I don't make her more homesick than she is. I just have to kinda think about what I am going to say, then I go back and write that down, until I kinda get stumped again.
     But anyway, I want to encourage everybody that reads this to adopt a soldier, be a pen pal, how hard can it be to write a letter, send a card, and when I can, I am going to send her care packages, you don't have to do that if you chose to just pen pal to someone, they only require you to write, send cards at least once a week.
If you want to do more, you can chose the option to send a care package to them once a month, I think you can adopt up to four soldiers!! I love it, I am going to start with her, then after I get use to everything and get a regular schedule with sending out her letters and stuff, I am going to adopt one more.
 I will keep you updated about her, I cannot tell personal information, and that will be your responsibity to keep their privacy, you have to be very careful and make sure you never tell their names or ages, ranks or anything personal.
 I can tell you how her morale is, how she's doing, and its going to be neat to see how our personality's mesh as we start to write, but your soldiers can't write back to you sometimes, so unless your getting your letters returned, your mail is getting there. So continue to write them, they may not be able to write, depending on where they are over there.
      You know what I wish, that all my internet friends, could set back with me and a glass of wine, and just brain storm different things I can write to her about, or a group of us adopt a soldier, and we could all brainstorm what we are going to send them, or write to them about, it would be great:)
      Please if you have any idea's about what I can send her that would be super neat, or tell me if you've seen a good movie, or read a good book, I can send her things like that. It would be awesome to have some fresh idea's things I wouldn't think of myself.
      I will be letting you know how this goes, I will post regular on my soldier, and give out the link every time, so maybe anther soldier can be adopted:)
                                Let me know what you think, your idea's, or if you adopted a soldier. Till next time.......


Friday, February 26, 2010

The best days to buy certain items

     I promised to pass on anything I learn that will help us all to save more money, which can help us all to be able to give to the needy, if we are saving then we can bless others that are having a hard time, there's just no better feeling than helping someone you know is struggling and probably praying every night for God to send them food for dinner. Lets be the answer to someone's prayer:)
                            The best days to buy certain items
To read the full article on this topic go to:

1.) Airplane tickets-Wednesday mornings- the fares reach their lowest prices late tuesday or early wednesday.
2.)Books- Thursdays-  That's when the big chains release their coupons and sales.
3.)Cars-Mondays-Dealers live for the weekend which is when they make most of their sales, the sales floors are usually empty thru the week.
4.)Clothing-Saturdays-They are usually getting a jump on Sunday sales, so they start Saturday right before closing.
5.)Dinner Out-Tuesdays-Sundays are the garbage days, big restaurants don't usually get a delivery on the weekends, so they are more than likely cleaning out the fridge . Tuesdays they are starting fresh.
6.)Entertainment-Wednesdays-Movie theaters, amusement parks, and museums are trying to get people in mid-week, 6 Flags offers a $12.00 dollar savings to AAA members on Wednesdays, that's triple the usual discount of $4.00.\
7.)Gas-Thursdays before 10 a.m.-Weekend demands are high, prices usually swing upward on thrusdays as travelers fuel up to head out the following day. By hitting the pumps Thursdays before 10 am you will beat the rush.
8.)Groceries-Sundays or Tuesdays-Store sales run Wednesday- Tuesdays with the latest round of Sunday coupons from Sunday paper you are more likely to save more.
9.) Hotel Rooms-Sundays-There are two different kinds of managers, the ones that won't give you a discount are off on Sundays, so call then and ask to speak to a manager, your more likely to get a discount, he would rather have booked rooms than worrying about giving a discount, during the week a revenue manager works, they are focused on profits so you are not going to get a discount out of them.

     Now I told you all about watching the coupon queen on Joyce Myers, she was great, I learned a lot just from that show. I found an article today that teaches about grocery store cycles, the coupon queen and the super saver teach people about the best months to shop in, their sales run in cycles, so here's what  I found out, read on to find out the best months to shop for certain items, you can get them at rock bottom prices, sometimes as much as 60% off!!!

Late Jan. early Feb. right before the super bowl
look for sales on chips,dips, and soda's.

Memorial Day- and the 4 of July- look for party foods, meats to grill, and condiments. They will be rock bottom prices.

Easter- look for sales on ham.

November and December- look for holiday staples like turkeys, sweet potatoes, cool whip, and cream cheese.

November- is also a good month to find sales on coffee and tea.

March- Frozen foods, its National Frozen Foods Month.

April (around Earth Day) and in September ( National Organic foods month.)buy  your organic foods then.

June- Ice cream, dairy products, milk, and cheese.

     There you have it, I will pass more along as I find it!!! Hope you enjoyed this information, before you know it, I will be the savings queen, lol.
If you did get something out of this please leave me some comments telling me so, I just love knowing that I found something that helped someone:)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Learning a little each and every day:)

     Hello all,
     I just got done listening to Joyce Myers, she had the coupon Queen on, and it was a very interesting story, this lady Sarah Roe had a baby that had lethal allergies to food, over 100 of them, so his food alone was costing them 6-800.00 monthly for a eleven month old.... crazy I know, I don't know what I would do in that situation???
She kept standing on the word of God and believing for an answer, her and her husband even went 3 weeks without eating themselves just to feed their baby, we can all understand that can't we!!! She never lost her faith, and she just kept feeling like Jesus was dropping in her spirit "coupons" over and over "coupons" so she went out and bought a book memorized it, headed out to the store with twenty dollars to her name, and came back with 150.00 dollars worth of groceries!!! That is just amazing to me, and hence she had became the coupon queen. The one thing that really struck me was she said to not go overboard, don't build a whole other room just for groceries, you have to limit yourself or you will get into trouble even saving money. Actually what she said was you had to have balance. I love that she said if you have ten sauces of spaghetti sauce on your shelve instead of buying more, make some spaghetti , wow brains storm!!!! We should all know that but sometimes we still have to be told, because what??? Us women just love to shop darn it,lol.
She also said to give back, if you have ten sauces then go through your pantry and make a grocery bag for a family you know is in need in these economic times.
     So I have bookmarked her site, have plans of ordering her book, and learning all I can, watch what you ask for you just might get it!! Remember when I said I wanted to know how on a struggling income could I help others, well let me tell ya, if I can go out and get 150.00 dollars worth of groceries for 19.00 dollars, then that is going to go a long way in helping me give to others while learning to be a good steward of my money. 
     I firmly believe that God is not going to pour out blessings on us until we learn how to handle those blessing, until we learn how to give those blessings away, like Joyce Myers says, you don't need to be a holding station for money, a hoarder of money for ourselves, we need to bless others, just be a vessel to pass those amazing blessings that God sends onto others:)
     I want to give you a link to her site, its very informative, has some great coupon links, you can really learn a lot from this lady, she's passing on the knowledge that God blessed her with, so as we grow our knowledge we need to do the same and pass it along.
     I will keep you posted on all the things  I learn from her as soon as I can get my hands on her book:)

      You can find the coupon Queen here:
Sarah Roe:

I hope that comes out click-able, but if it doesn't just paste it into your browser, or  I am sure that will work also, give her a try, stop by and register for some awesome giveaways, and read about saving money:)
                 Until next time my dear friends don't forget I am a comment lover, so please if you find any of this useful send me a comment!!!! hugs!!!  

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I don't want the same old, same old blog!!!!

 To lay it all out there, oh it most certainly wouldn't be boring, but would you accept me????
What If I just spilled it all, the ugly truth that has been my life? I absolutely think it would be a good
read, but wow, I would probably so over judged that I could never ever show my blogging avatar face
I don't want to write about tea, I don't want to write about food, I don't want to constantly write
about my kids, (although I do love writing about them from time to time) but come on lets admit it,
a lot of moms write about their kids, how much kid info can we absorb???
I wish I traveled the world, could write about exciting places and events that occur all around the
world!!! But to tell you the truth, its fun doing that, I mean the traveling part, going to the exciting
parties around the world, but for the mom sitting at home reading it.... come on it reminds her that
she can't afford to do those things!
I don't know what my main specialty will be about when it comes to my blogging, but I do promise
it won't be boring!!! Don't get me wrong and go off on me saying anything about moms writing about their children, or tea, or food, but I am just saying its been done, and by some very awesome writers, they have done a great job with those blogs, and I could not even begin to be able to match them, mine would just come off as boring:(  I totally love those blogs, follow those blogs, read those blogs daily, I am not throwing off on anyone's blog, just my own ability, my ability to find something interesting to write about, and the fact that I could not pull of those blogs with the amazing funny, creative writing that the other moms do!!!
I want to find the one thing that binds all of us together as women,not just moms, not just wives, but
women. Is it that hard for me to find an identity that is all mine, as a woman, not a mommy, wife, or
even daughter. I want to know what interests you as a woman, what would you love to do that's just
solely for you, something self indulgent, something adventurous, something that you would want to
load up a car load of girlfriends leave the kids and hubby and life for that matter behind for a weekend
of nothing but you?????
I want to create a circle of women that think for themselves, that create ways of helping others in need, and
we just do it, creating a powerful band of women that got together one day and decided they were smart enough
to change things. Women that instead of just talking about the change that needs to take place in our country,
doing something about it. Finding ways of providing that home for that homeless woman and her children.
That help a family that has a sick child to raise funds to help them with their bills, if we have to be the fund raisers
ourselves for a family that we don't even know, I think at the end of the day we would find ourselves so happy
with ourselves, for the 1st time in a lot of our lives we could really shine from the inside out:)
That's what kind of blog I want, recording the events of the day, not my family tidbits but the woman
that was living in a homeless shelter, how we helped her find clothing, and prepare for a job interview, and
how we found her a place to live, supplied her with what she needed to get her feet back on the ground.
How would you feel at the end of a day where you could write a blog like that??????
I don't know about you, but I would feel accomplished, I would feel worthy of that vacation with the girls only,
it would be well deserved, because we will set around on that cruise deciding what family needed our help next!!
and mapping out the plan to do just that, one family at a time, one child taken out of poverty's grip each day,
and nights where we lay our heads down on our beds and fall immediately asleep, worries no longer keeping
us up, because we know of a family that is sleeping in beds instead of car, and they have their bellies full.
That's why we are going to be able to sleep so soundly ourselves.
If you would like to be a part of a blog like that, a woman's group like that, comment, let me know, tell me your
idea's, lets do something good before we die, life is short, we need to live everyday as much as we can, in the blink
of an eye its over, and what have we accomplished??

Thursday, January 21, 2010

If I could blink my eyes and make it better

     This has been one of the hardest days of my life, I have the most wonderful mother on this planet, I could not ask for more, there's not one thing I can think of that I would change about my mom, or add to her!
     She had breast cancer about 2 years ago, she beat it, she has the most amazing faith I have ever seen out of anyone, she had a huge brain tumor before, she was prayed for, and she believed that she was healed, she went back to the doctors that she had been seeing that had done mulitple cat scans, they had all the proof in the world that she most definatly had a big brain tumor. She just knew that she knew she was healed, but she decided she was going to go back for confirmation. To say that the doctors in Lexington,Ky thought that the brain tumor had definatly gotten to her, was putting it mildly, upon my mom informing one of the doctors that she had been healed and that she knew the brain tumor was gone, he was pretty calm about it all, he said ok lady what ever you say. Well they done another scan, and it was gone, they could barely believe their eyes, they done another, they compared the old ones with the very visible tumor, then they looked at the new one beside of it, totally tumor free!
     then as I mentioned before a couple of years ago, she got breast cancer, and again I never saw her panic, it was at a time when my mind was everywhere, I had some major problems going on in my life. I was not there for her like I should have been, but she faced it like she faces everything, head on in constant prayer, believing that God's will be done, He's in control and she just puts it all in his hands!
     I hope she knows the impact she has had on my life, seeing her never ever lose her faith in her precious Lord, always believing that He will work it out, that the most important thing in this world is His will being done, and IT IS!!
      A few weeks ago she had to get a PET scan, the doctor told her that day that if anything showed up he would call by that friday, this was on a tuesday. He didn't call by that friday, he didn't call by the next friday, we took that as a good sign, mom said no news is good news. She went to her regular doctor she asked mom if she had heard from him, mom told her she had not, she said well didn't you call? Mom said no I didn't want to, if something had been wrong he would have called me. That was not good enough for her doctor, she said she would try to get ahold of them and find out how the scan went. That's when we find out that doctor had went out of town and hadn't even read the scan yet! I think that is so wrong, he told my mom that if anything showed up he would call her by that friday, and then he takes off, goes out of town without even looking at her scan. I think thats so frigging unprofessional! So he obviously gets back and reads it, they call today, there was some things that showed up in the bones on her back, alot of stuff. They have not said for certain that its cancer, but mom thinks thats what the doctor thinks it is, they want her to go to Kingsport to find out for sure, and then start radiation, if it is cancer. I hate this mom has been having so much pain in her back, so  now we know the reason, I just pray it doesn't come back cancer!
     She is going about it the same as every possible fatal thing that has ever happened to her, believing that God will work it out, its amazing how she just always looks to Him for the answer, its the kind of faith we are all suppose to have that believe in Jesus, that know He died on the cross for our sins. I am one of those people that totally believe's that and I have learned how to believe and have faith from my mom.
      This is so hard for me, I have never really lost anyone that's close to me, except when I was young my father died, but I was at the age where I just don't really remember him. My mom is all I have ever had, I love her so much, before I had children, I use to say I want to die before my mom, I can't imagine living without her ever!! I have not said it since I have had two little girls, the doctor that told me I would never have children was extremely wrong, I got pregnant with my first one at 34 and the second at 38.
     My mom wants me to live as long as possible now, she knows these girls would be in a mess without me, we've dicussed the options, its not good! They would be split up,one raised here and the other raised there, so for my mom who worries about my girls as her own, I am trying to get healthy and change my entire living habits, so that I can stay with them as long as possible and to relieve some stress off of mom. I don't want her to have to worry about anything right now, as she told me what the doctor said on the phone, she just keep saying we just have to turn it over to God, and it will be ok, just pray and believe that He will work this out for His glory.
     I just want them to say its not cancer! I want them to say its something we can take care of with medicine or surgery, even though I don't want her to have to go through another surgery, she has had a few in her lifetime, but anything is better than cancer, where you never hear a doctor say we can take care of this, we can fix it, everythings going to be fine.
     The only choice I have at this  time is to put to use what she has taught me for years, believe, trust, look to God with blind faith, know that He will do what is best, even if we don't understand it right then, He does everything for a reason, and all of His reasons are good reasons. I have to show my daughters what my mom has shown me all of my life, when people told her to give up on me, to just shut the door on her daughter and get her completely out of her life, my mom didn't do that, she prayed and believed God that He had total control of the situation, He was going to bring all of her children back into right standing with Him. I never saw her waver, I never had her give up on me, she never turned me away, now I will never turn my away, for no reason, never will this mommy say ok that's it, I have had it with you, I want you out of my life, and then brag to others that I am just showing tough love. I will be there for them always, no matter how many mistakes they may make, I will be there with my arms open to hug them when they need it, to straighten their lifes out when they see that its time. I will totally believe God in every area of my life, trust him with my daughters and my life from this moment on.
     Right now I totally trust Him to work this situation out, to heal her, to love her, to take her pain. I will trust him no matter the outcome, I will believe that He has a reason for everything, even if I don't understand it at the moment, I know that His reason's are always good reason's. I know that if He does decide to take her home that I will miss her and never ever will my life be the same, but I also know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. She has lived her life in front of us all, never being ashamed of Him, never being ashamed of being a Christian. She has showed me unconditional love my whole life,now I will show my children unconditional love, she has shown me how to serve the Lord with all of my heart and soul.

     I will one day be in heaven, one day I will never have to worry about losing someone I love again. I will be with my loved ones, in a place where there is no sorrow, no death, no tears. Until then I will grow daily in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord knowing I got the strongest foundation I could have possibly gotten from a woman who loved Jesus with all of her heart and showed me how to live in her foot steps!
     I love you so much mom, I don't want to even imagine my life without you, you have been the best mom ever, I couldn't have asked for anything more, a job well done, and someday though I hope its a day way off from now, I know you will hear, enter in thou good and faithful servant!
      Thats our hope, this life here is so short, its gone in a fleeting moment, our hope is that we touch those around us and that they see Jesus and not us, that well help one that is in pain, that we feed one that is hungry, that we clothe one that is without clothes, that we lead them all to know the awesomeness of Jesus.
 For we are not of this place, we are visitors here on this earth, our home our true home is with Jesus for eternity. There is no time there just sheer love and happiness, we know that the most important thing here is not the treasures we lay up here, but the treasures we lay up in heaven. Our goal is to please our heavenly Father!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Away we go

     I know its been a while, trying to get ajusted to taking college classes after what 20 some years. Its been an adventure so far, from WOW I really, really like this, to oh man what have I got myself into, a range of emotions, but in the end, I am so excited, I think I have found something that I not only will love doing, but I really believe I will be one of the best at Web Design, I get into this kinda stuff, I love when I know that I can do something thats complicated, and if someone has a problem, that I can go in myself and look around and figure it out, and were talking these are problems that may take hours and days to figure out, but oh the sense of accomplishment when your done!! Its just thrilling to me, some people would hate doing this, the thoughts of writing code, paragraphs of it, just to get a  couple of sentences on a page, would bore them to death, but for me it keeps me totally imersed in something, I shouldn't have down time with it, there will probably always be code that needs to  be written in this field, no getting off into my own mind to think to long and hard about anything!!! Just the way I like it baby!
     The demands of working or college classes and raising children all in the same room? It has the same drawbacks as all work at home moms have, you never have alone time, if you get to go off to an office, you are at least escaping for a while. Where you can concentrate on your work, have peace and quiet to do the best possible work you can, I am a firm believer in work like you don't need the money, and dance like no one's watching!
Its just as hard going to school at home-online, but when circumstances call for it, they just do. I am glad we at least have that option now. I try to study and sometimes I have to jump up every few minutes, I get aggravated, then sometimes Tom takes Jada to the store while Raina spends the night at nanny's and I get hours of quiet study. I think in the end the good out weighs the bad, I don't have to pay for daycare, transportation, lunch etc.
I might as well get use to juggling the kids and some type of work, I will be working from home after I graduate anyway.That was the whole point when I started this, to be able to stay at home with my husband because his hearts so very bad, hes not suppose to ever be alone, the doctors don't say if his heart stops they say when his heart stops, you will have a hour to get him to the ER.
      Things are very tight, tighter than I have ever had to deal with, Tom's mom helps him, my mom helps me, if it were not for that I don't know what would have become of us up to this point. I know that the weight of this families future is on my shoulders, its very heavy, it does depress me at times. I have two beautiful girls that make it worth getting up and fighting another day, you think if you work all of your life like my husband Tom did, that you get to rest and have a little,NOT!! For those of you that's having to live on Social Security Disablity then you know totally what I mean, I am currently raising a family of four on less than what a single household's guidelines are. That's why I can't allow myself to drown in this, my girls are depending on me, they hate our house, its so little, not near the room that we need. The day I enrolled for classes, I explained to them that mommy may not be able to play with them as often, but I would surely miss it, I was going to try to go to school at home so I could provide us with a house that actually fits us,lol.
My oldest daughter who is 7 went and got a home decorating book and circled all the things she thought would look nice in our new house someday, oh I pray the Lord blesses this venture I have decided to take, I don't want to ever,ever,disappoint them.
     I will keep everyone posted on this awesome new road Im taking, wow, back to school at 41, pray people pray.
and please comment, tell me what you think??